Thread: Chinese Whispers

The funniest thing is happening to me.

Some randomer from my old college found out i was an aspiring performer so decided to tell everyone.

Then someone decided to spread that im a burlesque dancer in blackpool.

Then it escalated to me being a stripper.

Now the rumours have even spread to another college!

I think its hilarious that these people that never even spoke to me know about it.
And that my so called 'friends' believe that im a stripper.
When really, they should know me better.

But theyre too ignorant to know the difference between stripping , pole dancing and burlesque .

But what the hell, im kinda famous for it, even if it is silly gossip!

I guess its normal for this kinda thing to happen though?
Especially when people are, and always have been so quick to judge me.

Just thought it might make some of ya giggle

Tallula T
xoxox

WARNING

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If rumours are to be believed:

I am a porn actress who is secretly married to a mexican tour guide....

Apparently I used to be in the army and one day I skived to go begging in a wheelchair because I thought it would be funny!

I love the rumourmill, I've learned a lot about myself which I would never have known - although in most cases, I've never (or only briefly) met the people that perpetuate the rumours!

I was 17, I was in the ATC in Cumbernauld in Scotland, I was speaking with a works chum about the weekend and how I was going .303 shooting with other cadtes to an army range.......................Monday evening around 6 pm, just as we were sitting down to dinner the door goes. it is the RSPCA and FOUR police officers all wanting my blood, my head, my life and my .303 rifle that I had used that weekend to murder 130 crows in a rookery...................Seems some chap had gone out and took out all the crows in the rookery ON HIS OWN LAND, the dead birds were seen by fuckwit works chum who told every bugger that it MUST have been ME coz I was going shooting with a "real rifle" that weekend. It took ONE phone call from a neighbours house (coz we were poor and had no phone) to Headquarters Air cadets in Scotland to the Wing Commander and the police got all trite and appologetic when they were told who I was and WHAT I was etc and where I had been for 48 hours complete with military police pass records and gate check records and rifle and ammunition chits and signatures and pass records IF "the police wanted to be stupid and take this further" quote unquote my Wing Commander. The dumb wankers of the RSPCA still thought they could do me for shooting anyway, that died a death in a few days due to again, info from HQ to the main RSPCA in the UK telling them to sort them selves out.

The worst thing about this is that from then on I was the murderer of any animal that was found shot in Cumbernauld for the next 7 years, till I left and came down to Dorset. I also got complete bastards coming to my door with boxes of wee puppies/kittens asking me to kill them for them.

Every last box of babbies was taken to the PDSA in Cumbernauld for either putting to sleep by them if they were too far gone or, for adoption if they were ok etc.

OMG that horrible.
Fuckwits.
Some rumours (like mine) can be funny, but yours is just awful!
xoxo

Originally Posted by Tallula Torture

OMG that horrible.
Fuckwits.
Some rumours (like mine) can be funny, but yours is just awful!
xoxo

There are only two things I can do without thinking and with only a modicum of practice, one is Astronomy and the other is shooting. I LOVE target shooting with pistol or rifle. In Scotland I had to run the guantlet on a daily basis because of this, NOTdue to me being the super dooper rifle shot of the area and was taking all the trophies though, all I was getting was "Hey Jake (my nick name up there)gonni cum n kull ma wife, shes a richt bitch!" or "hey Jakey, ur gonni kull the queen fur us eh?" or "Think yur an effin sniper ur sumthin eh! Effin twat!" And other sad idiotic utterences from dim witted fuckwits that should really have been destroyed at birth.

I also used to get similar dimwitted crap for doing the astronomy as well though. My best to dat e was in Bournemouth. We had set up a little observation night for the BB and Scouts etc in a local park. We had loads of mums n dads n kids n gangsters all out having a look at Jupiter and all sorts, there was NO trouble what so ever, even the local gangsters were saying how they either did astronomy in a small way or had a relation who did. Up comes this idiot with his wife, he opens his big fat mouth and said this "Hey YOU (me) do you realise you are looking at the work of satan and are teaching all these people how to be evil, you fucking dickhead!!" "Who? Me?" says I. "Yeah, YOU you murderer of children and rapist of the mind with your satanic ways!!" "Where did you hear all this then ?" said I. "Up at my Church where the Minister preaches against exactly what you and the rest of your evil brood are doing to this planet and the people on it. Satan caused the heavens (???) to appear to take away the glory of Gods work on the planet!"....Me.. "Which Church do you go to that teaches you this?". "St Lukes Evangelical Free Church Of Bournemouth!" To this I then undo my coat top (it was piggin freezing!), the muppet takes one look and nearly faints "Listen and look muppet, I am a Minister and better still, I am THE Minister AT ST Lukes Evangelical Free Church Of Bournemouth because it is MY Church and I do NOT recognise YOU at all!" His wife looks at him and says "So, where were are you going to on Sundays then?"...................Do be dobe do be do de dum de dum... Da Lord moves in mysterious ways, in the dark, in the frost, in a field at 11pm on a Sunday evening....................

I'm really quite surprised and saddened that all these other people have nothing else in their lives to talk about. Part of the reason I like city life, I suppose.

And I'm pleased to say the membership of the Dorset ATC didn't attract that sort of nonsense. Other more peurile teenage gossip, perhaps, but nothing that wasn't forgotten eventually.

Well, if you listen to my parents, my love of burlesque has caused me to go "off the rails and run away to join a lesbian ringleader drug taking cultist who will pimp me out."

Yeah. :wallbash:

Axx

Originally Posted by Amethyst

a lesbian ringleader drug taking cultist who will pimp me out.

I think December should use that as her marketing blurb!

Originally Posted by Miss D

I'm really quite surprised and saddened that all these other people have nothing else in their lives to talk about. Part of the reason I like city life, I suppose.

And I'm pleased to say the membership of the Dorset ATC didn't attract that sort of nonsense. Other more peurile teenage gossip, perhaps, but nothing that wasn't forgotten eventually.

Were you with a unit as a cadet then? I assume you mean the people in the stories and not the story tellers