Thread: Why can't I 'feel' sexy?

i myself find myself to be quite well...shite to be honest
Excuse my french
but evberyone sees eachother differntly
my bf thinks im the bees knees ewhen infact i only reach his knees im 5ft2 hes 6ft3
we look so silly together

I was a silly person, (bilemic and other things) for 3 years, sice i was 16. i am now awesomely happy but everytime i move jobs i get a look and have to see a shrink. great fun lol. i just laugh, you are beautiful! believe me !
my friend is pissing me off by saying shes not pretty, she is stunning, alot prettyer than me but gawd if you dont love yerself how can anybody else?
love your body for what it is, sexy and awesome and you are strong! taking on 2 kids your awesome!

i bet your a kick ass mum too, and thats all you have to think about, if your kids grow up seeing you all shy and quiet your kids will too, they feed of your energy good or bad so go do something for yourself!
get drunk and have a boogie, start going to a burlesque calss it has given me such confidence its silly!

love yourself cause everyone else does sweetheart x:twothumbs:

Oh how i know how you feel!

I used to feel so insecure about myself.

Ive been through it with the ladies here, and theyre a great help!

I dunno if ya feel the same as me, that theres so many people better than you?
If ya do, ya gotta stop thinking that, and convince yourself that YOU are the hottest thing ever.
Especially to your husband, cos you are.
Otherwise he wouldnt have married you

Its know its harder than it sounds, but you will get there.
If i can get there slowly (and believe me, nobody can hate themselves as much as i did, and still do every other day), you definately will hun!

Hope my mad ranting served its purpose!


Anytime ya need a chin wag bout this kinda thing, im all ears
(not literally, thatd be wierd!)

Tallula T.
xxoo

Originally Posted by Fleur du Mal

But, as you say, I didn't need to be quite so negative. And I'm very sorry if I came across as rude, because I really didn't mean to ...

No problem and thank you for that! I agree with you, it does help to find the root of the problem and you should look at all factors. It does differ for everyone and so you do have to go through a process of elimination if general positive thinking doesn't do the trick!

I (now) know that a general negative view of myself is really unhealthy so try whenever I can to avoid that. That's not the root of my problems, but it was the first step in dealing with them. I'm not saying I'm always a ray of sunshine but I try my best!!

Miss Tique, I hope you'll take comfort in seeing that you're not alone if nothing else! And isn't it nice that everyone's telling you you're gorgeous? It's only recently I've learned to take compliments like that and accept them. A friend of mine recently said to me, "People don't give out compliments when they aren't due. Unless people want to get into your knickers, and even then, they'll tell you you look gorgeous (and if they want to sleep with you... they have to think you're gorgeous anyway, right?)."

I found it difficult to argue with this...!

OMG I'm so overwhelmed!! This thread has made me cry :cry: (good tears not bad ones!) So much support and so amazing to know that I am not alone. :hug:

I so get the hormonal thing, I had the contaceptive injection when I was 24, woke up one day in a cold sweat, unable to get out of bed. After not going into uni and struggling to the sofa I spent the day having the most vivid and terrifying hallucinations. One, that I was strapped to a gurney being wheeled through hundreds of commuters at Liverpool Street station whilst my mouth was wired open and my teeth were pulled out one by one. These continued about one ever couple of hours. By the time my wholly unsympathetic ex got back from work I was in pieces on the living room floor howling that the only way out of this was for me to end it all becuase I couldn't stop these thoughts. The next morning I turned up at the doctors (an hour late becuase to be honest, getting dressed was an effort that day lol!) only to be turned away becuase I'd missed my appointment. Luckily the receptionist obviously noticed the toast stuck in my hair and my general mental looking appearance and took me into one of the rooms for a chat. As soon as I'd described my symptoms she asked if I was on the contraceptive injection and told me that my reaction was "a common one" and popped in to the doctor to get a course of anti-depressants. "A common one"!!! Still makes me mad after all these years to know that women all over the country are prescribed this stuff when it's russian roulette as to what it does to you. Never been on any contraceptive since and never had any mental relapses, touch wood. Made me realise though that it was the end of the relationship. From then on I was very much the mad woman in the attic and I lost all confidence and self esteem. Time to get out and, meeting my husband was the best thing that could have ever happened to me

My job is stressful but I love it and can't imagine doing anything else. I work in the public sector so job security's great but crap pay, long hours and stress levels more than make up for it lol! Husband is in same profession so he is sympathetic although he's much better than me at not bringing the stress home!

I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for all the support and such amazing comments. The comment about my stepkids really struck a chord, I don't want them growing up thinking their step mum is a mouse! I've decided, for my 30th a complete revamp is in order - there will no doubt be some wobbles along the way as I get used to this 'confidence' thing which is alien and truly, truly scary. I'm not yet 100% sure that I can do it but I'm feeling much closer than when I started this thread and all down to your great support - thank you, thank you, thank you!!! xxxxx

This is the beginning - woooooooooooo!!!!!:excited:

woop woop, go for it!! xx

Lots and lots of luck. We all, I hope nobody minds me saying, really are behind you.

Happy 30th and happy beginnings!
xx

Originally Posted by Miss Tique

there will no doubt be some wobbles along the way as I get used to this 'confidence' thing which is alien and truly, truly scary. I'm not yet 100% sure that I can do it but I'm feeling much closer than when I started this thread and all down to your great support - thank you, thank you, thank you!!! xxxxx

This is the beginning - woooooooooooo!!!!!:excited:

There will definitely be wobbles....but EVERYONE has bad days and bad weeks, and sometimes you need to give yourself permission to roll with these, tell the hubby you need extra space and/or care and attention, and just have a duvet day with some chocolate and a good dvd. This isn't a failure or a fall - it's sensible r&r and we all need to let ourselves off the hook sometimes from what we think we 'should' do.

Try and have lots of fun with the stepkids too - they are great excuses to be a big kid again. Do silly things, put your welllies on and go and splash in puddles, buy yourself each bubbles and have bubble competitions, go to the panto and shout and scream 'behind you' and 'oh no it isn't'.....go easy on yourself and realise that life is short and you deserve to have fun and be happy.

And honestly, you CAN do this, just take it easy and realise that it will be a long, if not, life-long process but each new day is a new page to rediscover that wonderful, beautiful and sexy person inside of you.

your a strong lass me love so dont fret.
for every down theres an up and your kids will grow up loving themselves(in the good way) and you will love yourelf for helping them.

i still say you take a burlesque class , makes you feel awesome, speak to viva misadventure ifyour in scotland or gypsy charms if your sown south.
they are awesome and will make you pee your pants.

good luck lovely, xxxxx all the best for you, your partner and your kids x

Originally Posted by Monstera de ghore

for every down theres an up

And that's what makes the world go round!

Sorry, i thought it was about time for a Disney interlude ^_^

Well Miss Tique....I have to say your husband is right