Thread: Musings for a wet Friday afternoon

The old gentleman of 87 walks slowely and painfully into the ice cream parlour and just as slowely and painfully pulls himself up into the seat at the counter. In a small and feeble voice he says "Can I have a banana split please miss?" The waitress looks at him with pity and says in a low and kindly voice "Crushed nuts Sir?". To which the old man says "No love...................Arthritis".............


How do make a dead cat float? Take a bowl, place dead cat and two scoops of ice cream in bowl................


Two 89 year old gentlemen in a retirement home and having a chat over tea. Bill says to John "You know mate, I am 89 years old and boy can I really feel the aches and pains coming in these days, how about you then?" John says "I feel like a new born child to be honest Bill!" "Wotcher mean !" says Bill, John replies " Well, I got no hair, I got no teeth and I think I have just wet myself".............

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Oh dear...
How do you make a dog drink?
Put it in the blender!

Hahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!! :lol:

This was scratched into my exam desk during A Levels:

What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of sand?
You can't unload a truck load of sand with a pitchfork!

For the whole two hours I was stifling my giggles! :lol:

Originally Posted by December Charm

Hahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!! :lol:

This was scratched into my exam desk during A Levels:

What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of sand?
You can't unload a truck load of sand with a pitchfork!

For the whole two hours I was stifling my giggles! :lol:

Thats quite evil!!! :warn:
Axx

In relation to my previous joke;
How do you stop a dog humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck him off!


(What, too much?)

Originally Posted by Captain Badger

In relation to my previous joke;
How do you stop a dog humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck him off!


(What, too much?)

You are quite disgusting Mon Capitan:warn:

Just for you. What is the difference betwixt a poof and a microwave oven?




The microwave does not brown the meat.....................


And now for the un pC stuff because a whole bunch of Arab Muslims have proved how fricken stupid they really are!! (read online news about the very large aircraft they came to sort out!)

No, I wont as I am totally about such rubbish