The old gentleman of 87 walks slowely and painfully into the ice cream parlour and just as slowely and painfully pulls himself up into the seat at the counter. In a small and feeble voice he says "Can I have a banana split please miss?" The waitress looks at him with pity and says in a low and kindly voice "Crushed nuts Sir?". To which the old man says "No love...................Arthritis".............


How do make a dead cat float? Take a bowl, place dead cat and two scoops of ice cream in bowl................


Two 89 year old gentlemen in a retirement home and having a chat over tea. Bill says to John "You know mate, I am 89 years old and boy can I really feel the aches and pains coming in these days, how about you then?" John says "I feel like a new born child to be honest Bill!" "Wotcher mean !" says Bill, John replies " Well, I got no hair, I got no teeth and I think I have just wet myself".............

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http://www.jonathonwyliephotography.co.uk/

Oh dear...
How do you make a dog drink?
Put it in the blender!

Hahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!! :lol:

This was scratched into my exam desk during A Levels:

What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of sand?
You can't unload a truck load of sand with a pitchfork!

For the whole two hours I was stifling my giggles! :lol:

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Snowflakes and Sparkles

Thats quite evil!!! :warn:
Axx

In relation to my previous joke;
How do you stop a dog humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck him off!


(What, too much?)

You are quite disgusting Mon Capitan:warn:

Just for you. What is the difference betwixt a poof and a microwave oven?




The microwave does not brown the meat.....................


And now for the un pC stuff because a whole bunch of Arab Muslims have proved how fricken stupid they really are!! (read online news about the very large aircraft they came to sort out!)

No, I wont as I am totally about such rubbish

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