Thread: Contraception inconvieninces!!

Originally Posted by December Charm

From what I've read, IUD is the only one that doesn't list weight gain as a side effect.

No, but it does list increased risk of heavier and more painful periods, so if that's your problem to start with, the risk is totally not worth it.

Seriously ladies, what's wrong with rubber? Why can no one ever answer that?

You have a very good point, Fleur.
I'm on the depo injection but for other reasons, the least of which being contraception!
My theory is that by offering and taking these longer term / hormonal contraceptions, the subject can, once again, been swept under the carpet and not spoken about. It all becomes clean and tidy and something that often doesn't have to be discussed between couples.
Of course there are exceptions and i know that some couples talk a great deal about it but there are still thousands and thousands of couples who would rather not address it and find it easier to take something magical that will solve all the problems ( yeah, right!)
In my opinion, if you're responsible enough to have sex, you're responsible enough to talk about the stuff that goes with it.
Condoms require a certain amount of discussion, even if it's just 'have you got one?'. Also, how often do you do see anyone in films / tv rummage around for a condom, fiddle with the wrapper and try and put it on, in the dark?!?! I think this seriously needs addressing so that the whole matter of barrier contraception is no longer seen as inconvenient or un-sexy.
Hormonal contraception can be a God send for many many women and of course not forgetting the freedom that it gave women, back in the 60's. Having said that, it is not right for everyone and we should not be made to feel guilty for not wanting to fill our body with chemicals.
Everyone is so different and should be encouraged to explore their own choices.... especially when STI's are still on the increase and the most reliable way of avoiding them is still to use a condom... or abstinence!
Here endeth the lecture!!!!
XXX

I think the thing about condoms is its easier to 'make a mistake'. When you come in from a great night out absolutly drunk sometimes the thought of a condom just slips out of our minds. And can split etc.
As for the mood killer, i don't think they are when you've been with someone for a while. I'm engaged to 'mr.bloom' so theres no need to candles and oils to get us in the mood and a condom doesn't ruin it all. I'm thinking after all this advice I may not start on my pill. I'm at weight watchers right now and trying to shift the pounds and if the pill is going to stop, I'd rather runber up then stay my size!!

xxxxx

This may be seen as a bit of man-bashing but I think it has a lot to do with the abdication of responsibility that seems to be running rampant through society. If a man (well boy may be more accurate) is indoctrinated into the mindset of contraception is the womans problem 'cos they can always walk away from the situation then they are less likely to use condoms as it's seen as a not my problem issue. Of course if they were to man-up and actually take some responsibility for where they stick their genitals - and taking responsibility was seen as a good thing -then condoms would be much more as a necessity and sign of respect and responsibility rather than a last resort...

Ooooh, I agree. I didn't want to go down the 'man bashing' route in my reply ( I'm a bit of a wuss!) but I do think you have a point.
It's such a complicated subject, spanning all kinds of subjects .... medical, moral, ethical, emotional & sexual.
I suppose the ideal situation would be to have a fully comprehensive and honest service where everyone ( women & men) are given all the facts and are fully informed then given the support to carry on with what ever method they choose.
Sexual health education and family planning in this country is a long way off being perfect but we are are also very luck, in some ways.
XXX

Originally Posted by Fleur du Mal

Seriously ladies, what's wrong with rubber? Why can no one ever answer that?

I use these as well as another method. I'm that opposed to being pregnant I take no chances, but I doubt I would trust condoms on their own just as I wouldn't trust any other contraception on ITS own. Also it doesn't help my period problem just using them.

Edit to add: I'm disappointed that many ladies don't use condoms, because they are the only contraception that protects against STIs. I would advocate using them in any situation. Whose to say partners are always going to stay faithful, or have disclosed everything about their sexual pasts?

I almost learnt the hard about not using rubbers. I had a date which ended up in a drunken horney state at his house and half way through i told him to rubber up, 2 months later i just started my relationship with my fiance i get a call saying he has claymideya (however you spell the damn thing) and I should get tested. I was in floods of tears. Got tested and thank god I hadn't got it!
A man once described to me using a condom is like 'chewing a sweet wrapped in cling film' Well, I'd rather he not get that full effect then be left up the duff on my own!! If aman don't rubber up, he ain't worth it. Luckily my fiance actually persuaded me to get the implant out and just use condoms. JOHNNY'S ALL THE WAY!!!!

I use hormonal contraceptives cause of my period problems. When I first went on the pill I didn't have sex for about 3 years.

I, like Kari, wouldn't trust condoms alone as a contraceptive - at the moment getting pregnant would cause me problems regarding my degree.

I do agree with Kari about condoms to a certain extent. People should use them more. I don't always agree when it comes to more long term relationships though. I think it's sad to be in a relationship and assume your partner might not be faithful. I trust my boyfriend completely, I've known him for a very long time we were friends even before we got together. I know his sexual past, and I know he's not lying about it. If either of us were more likely to have an STD when we got together it would be me (I didn't). We don't use condoms now because we trust each other.

Originally Posted by Emiwee

I don't always agree when it comes to more long term relationships though. I think it's sad to be in a relationship and assume your partner might not be faithful. I trust my boyfriend completely, I've known him for a very long time we were friends even before we got together. I know his sexual past, and I know he's not lying about it.

Oh definitely. I'm not saying I wouldn't trust my boyfriend, but I like to cover my back just in case something happened, no matter how angelic I think he is.

I was once seeing a guy over the space of about nine months (we were never "official" but he acted as though we would eventually get together and he was just having trust issues/depression) He was encouraging me to move to another city to live nearer to him. Turns out there were about 6 other girls like me, and then I was glad that I had used condoms! I had absolutely no idea the other girls existed, and we never did become official, he was a player. That was a relatively long term affair but could have been just as disastrous as a one night stand in terms of disease spreading! People sometimes turn out to be not what they seem, perhaps it is just my bad experience that has made me cynical.

I think infidelity can happen in any relationship, long term or not, and although I don't really have a Jeremy Kyle sort of relationship and I don't think my boyfriend would cheat, I hear of other people getting cheated on all the time (ESPECIALLY friends of mine in LTRs and even one who was pregnant! That was a nasty shock!) and I just think it is sensible to be protected. And TMI (but relevant seeing as we're discussing advantages/disadvantages) it's less messy too!

Originally Posted by Kari Von Regardless

And TMI (but relevant seeing as we're discussing advantages/disadvantages) it's less messy too!

You have a very good point there lol. Definitely one advantage.

I understand where you're coming from too. I might just be a little idealistic - I do realise some guys are like that and you can't always figure it out in time - but it would be nice to trust people. Especially someone that close to you.