Thread: Can anyone help with words of wisdom?

Ok, this might take a few words to put over. Some of you know I have a "father-in-law" that I have misgivings about for various reasons. He also plays the organ, he is infact quite good at playing the organ but, and it is the but that I need help with. So I play guitar, I also sing. At Christmas HE decided that WE would put on a show for the people who were coming to his crimble do. "Ok" said I and went over with geetar and amp. Now, him self never asked to practice, even when I broached the subject with him, he always had no time to practice with me. On the day I said "Why don't we do it like this, YOU play for 10 or 15 minutes then I will play and sing for 10/15 minutes then we can play together the stuff that we CAN play together?". "Ok was his reply, he did the first hour then said "Ok John, your turn, I am fed up playing". I picked up geetar and started with Sound Of Silence. "OH WAIT!!!!!! I KNOW THAT ONE!!" he yells, runs to organ and even though I am in Am...G...Am on the first line, he comes in on B7. So I am to blame coz he cann't find my "pitch", I tell him it is in Am. He gets all shitty and just plays over me, not just the chords but the lyrics as well. My next number he didn't know so he wanders away, then I start Wind Beneath My Wings......Yup, youv'e guessed it "I KNOW THAT ONE AS WELL!!!"" I am in C he is in G................So, I actually stopped playing all together and just gave up for the rest of the day. Now he wants to get a THREESOME together with Him, me and another guy who has never played for something like 35 years and put on a show for his wife, my mother-in-laws birthday in September. I know he wont practice unless we bow to his way of playing, I also know that he wont practice any way with us other than for "fun". I have totally upset Loise by saying I am never going to play again coz of the arse, now he asks this in front of Louise and her mum, I love my mother-in-law, she is really sweet but, I don't want to upset her but I don't want to play in a "band" with the guy........

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stick to your guns...it sounds like the father in law is trying to compete with you...(my dad was a bit like this my my hubby)...and has always got to get the upperhand...i obviously dont know any history so dont know th whole situation, but it sounds so familiar...my hubby didnt get involved in competing with my dad cos they each have their own places in my life.

i think the F.I.L. needs to stop seeing you as competition for his daughters affection, attention or whatever...dont feel pressured into doing it but explain to those involved (maybe without the arse bit!!!!!) that you just dont feel comfortable with the whole thing and maybe even throw in an "artistic differences"comment or"wouldnt it be more special if your F.I.L did it by himself without you "stealing his limelight" or even just spmething as simple as "well idont really feel that im that good" even though you and we know you jolly well are!!!!!! that way you stillmaintain control of your own actions yet F.I.L. getsto be king of his wee castlend perhaps feels you have ceded to him...it might reduce a bit of the competitive thing you never know...

my hubby treats mydad likean equal and nothing less or more and now they get on better than me and my dad!!!!

hope you manage to sort things out to YOUR satisfaction...and please dont give up playing or singing that would be a real shame...dont give in to bullying...thats what it sounds ike...fingers crossed for you.xxx