Thread: Boyfriend's approval.

if I get the courage to go to classes and somehow manages to be good at it, I'm gonna start by just doing it for myself, and maybe the bf. Taking it straight to a stage, doing a routine would probably make a lot of men a bit insecure, but if you show him first he might be a bit more understanding. Practice with him, perform for him, and make sure he knows you're doing it for him and you and no one else. Just work with him, rather than against him. Maybe he'll change his mind and start supporting you when he gets to see more of what you're doing

Personally if my boyfriend ever did anything of the sort he won't be my boyfriend for long! Good thing he's cool with my explorations :P

Bring him to a show, and remind him that your body is yours to decide as you wish!

It's really important you respect that his concern is real, not necessarily some knee-jerk reaction. Relationships are all about compromise. I'm sure there are things he no longer does because they upset you. Or at least, he lets you feel uncomfortable about it.

It takes a lot of maturity to allow someone we care about to do something we might not approve of. To see that it does not reflect on us.

You taking your bra off does not reflect on him as a person (or on the health of your relationship). But him feeling uncomfortable about that does not reflect on you as a person (or on the health of your relationship).

And seriously, he doesn't have to approve. He's allowed to disagree. But then, so are you.

Ah, the beauty of relationships. It sounds like both of you are really open about communication and issues, which is great. Best of luck.

Gealle, you are 17 years old right? How old is your boyfriend? Sometimes in the younger male when he is being the "bread winner" etc, he will get all upset at the mere thought of another man/woman "oogling" his "mate" as it were. Sometimes this passes with age and experience , sometimes men tend to stay little boys and get all uppity and throw teddies from the cot and stamp their little feet etc Showing ones boobs is NOT a "Thing that MUST be done" in Burlesque . Keep talking to him about it, show him the youtube video's etc but, be patient with him, if he is 17 he is in fact only 15 in his mind, ALL men are like this till they reach about 40 then they tend to grow up a wee bit! At the moment he is just voicing his concerns and is not telling you not to do anything, heck, you have at least a year before you can do anything, things change quite quickly in real life, no one knows what might happen. BUT, if he says to you not to do it "or else", then you have got a decision to make. What till then before jumping in with both feet. Just remember what I typed in our PM's. Do not listen to those who have NOT done it, only those who ARE doing it and be true to yourself.

John

My partner hates burlesque . He often asks me why I would feel comfortable taking my clothes off in front of 'dirty old men' and thinks that burlesque is made out to be a glamourous act but is still a strip show. In my case I am continuing with burlesque . I am havign my first two performances early in July. In your case, I think the important thing is that you need to decide how much you like burlesque , and what you think of it.
My bf adores me and is extremely jealous of people even looking at me on the street. Take this as a compliment. If all it causes is arguments then try not to talk about it. It can be a hobby that you never talk about. Just mention that it is exciting and self esteem boosting.

My boyfriend loves that I do burlesque , and when he gets his new band doing gigs he wants me to dance with them at every gig. I'm very lucky!

It may just take your boyfriend time, explain to him what your personal motivations for doing it are, and try to involve him in it, ask his opinions on your ideas for acts/costumes/music etc, and test out your routines on him!

Good idea to link him to this thread too! Get him to have a little look around the forum to show him why we all love burlesque so much and that we're doing it cos we love to perform and express ouselves, not because we want to be strippers or attract men with it! xxx