Thread: losing weight to begin burlesque

Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. I'm classed as obese as I'm 13st 7lb and only barely 5' tall. I'm a size 16-18 and I've always been overweight, I honestly can't remember a time when I was ever slim. It does drain every last bit of your self-esteem, especially when you go shopping for something nice to wear and then discover that your choice only ever comes in a skimpily cut size 16 which wouldn't fit you in a month of slimfast!

I have severe arthritis too, and this is also very dibilitating. However, I have recently been trying to get out and about to attend some of my fabulous local burlesque events. Even as a spectator it's a lovely opportunity to spend time with my hair and make-up, and make an effort to look my best. I've found that it really cheers me up, and it's a great way to escape the normal 9-5 routine of school runs and housework!

Every year I have promised myself that THIS year will be THE year I'll lose weight and feel beautiful. And every time the year draws to a close, I just end up feeling like a failure and get so miserable. So THIS year I'm focusing on choosing flattering clothes for my figure, taking 5mins during the week to paint my nails and pluck my eyebrows, and every now and again I'll splash out and get my hair done. That's it. These tiny steps are the teeny stepping stones to making me feel better. I can't do exercise classes or belly dancing as my arthritis is too bad, but I am going to start going swimming, and try and find other non weight-bearing exercise.

What I'm rambling on about, is that if we take just a few moments each day to do one thing for ourselves that makes us feel better, then I believe that self-esteem levels can gradually be replenished. If I can go and do a school run, and I've had time to put on a bit of mascara or pluck my eyebrows, I find that I'm more inclined to actually meet anothers glance instead of immediately looking away and fiddling with my buttons or something! I will stand and chat instead of mumbling hello and pushing through the other waiting parents and on into the playground.

Basically, find a little something that works for you, and go from there. Don't worry about your dress size or what the scales say. If you get one smile from only one person during the course of the day, make sure it's from your reflection in the mirror. xx

brilliant post jax...thats exactly how i feel too...im a mum of five and as bad as things have been ive always given myself the luxury of enough time to get some slap on my face...there are loads of sacrifices i (and every other mum too) have made but that ones not up for discussion at all!!! i do my own acrylic nails as i cant afford to get them done (but im fortunate in that im atrained nail tech) i mostly get my eyebrows waxed at my loval salon but have taken to doing them myself too again cos of budget or lack of!!!!! still not at a point where i actually like what i seein the mirror but some days are better than others...now if only society wasnt so unfriendly towards those of us who are built for comfort and not for speed!!!!!!

and it always helps when you can come on here and have a bit of a gripe knowing that there willalways be someone there who has been there, is there, or is heading there!!!!

hats of to all of us for the support we all give each other! xxx

Thanks Everyone, you've all been lovely and helpful. The community seems to be very supportive and with none of the snide nastiness that tends to come out on the internet, it makes actually doing things less daunting.

these are great suggestions ..... but it all boils down to love who you are on the inside and outside and that will be the biggest help. Also don't forget that while you may not always like what you see there is a small person who loves you dearly for being you... why because your their mum and that's what matters to them.

Yes the forum is a very supportive place and from my experience when you meet the lovely ladies and gentlemen for real they are just as lovely and it is a great way to make good true friends who you can be completely comfortable with from the moment you meet them. When ever I go to a show I always wonder who I will see and it makes me excited.

Keep at it and remember if you need advice or just someone to listen we're here.

ohhh and about being built for speed ... those of us who are larger are just getting ready for the next ice age ... we won't freeze.

rollon the next ice age...tho up here it seems its arrived already!!! and while im waiting for it i wont have to worry about getting a cushion to get comfy on i take my own built in upholstery everywhere i go!!!!

Hi Margarita,

I couldn't agree more with these ladies!! I'm currently a smidge (lot) heavier than I want to be and coupled with losing my job in November left my confidence battered and bruised.

I ended up demotivated and have been finding it impossible to shift the pounds, but I got sick of myself putting things off for 'when I'm slimmer' and started a burlesque class 6 weeks ago - its really helped restore my confidence and motivation and more importantly, my belief in myself as a gorgeous woman. Just cos my bum is bigger than I'd ideally like, doesnt mean I cant shake it with the best of them!

Hope you'll find all these comments motivating and reassuring and get out there and join a class .

(Also, if you'd like to do something dancy at home, its a bit cheesy but Jennifer Ellison's West End Workout has some similar moves to burlesque class , but if your menfolks are like mine, its more Dad-Friendly to leave lying about while you're easing them in!)

Lots of love!
SGA xxx

Shes been mentioned before, but I gatta say I saw her perform and the two words are with out a doubt:

"Dirty Martini"

She will show you how its done, and it doesn't matter what size you are.

Another thing to note, is one doesn't have to be overweight to have body issues.

As a pole dancer, going to competitions and watching videos, so many pole dancers are so skinny/thin. I wonder how they do what they do, the skills require so much strength and they all look too thin. Makes me feel a bit out of place because Im not as thin as the rest of them. On the same note, a friend of mine is very strong and has the muscles to show it, and sometimes she feels out of place as a pole dancer with her muscles and all the others are just so thin. Im not overweight, Im not underweight, but I feel weird amongst the land of the very thin to be honest.

My point being - This is the thing I love about burlesque , that it doesnt matter what size you are!

You just gatta work every bit of what you got to the best that you can.

Its an attitude that everyone can benefit from.

My advice would be to go for it no matter what size you are. I know thats not what youre asking, but I agree with others to not put things off while waiting for a goal to happen.

absolutly, being large small or even average sized can all have their issues for people. Burlesque accepts all people of all sizes, ethnicity, age etc.... so if you want to dance do it.


The media has a lot to do with peoples negative images of themselves these days so lets rebel and say we are happy and love who we are irrespective of which box we do or don't fit into.

hear hear!!!!!!! who is anyone to tell us what beauty is... nobody has that right!! we are beautiful because we are individuals and we are individual because each of us is beautiful in a different way...golly how profound am I!!!!!!

I really agree with the previous postings, please don't put your life on hold waiting until you have the body you think that you desire, go for it now. Personally I'm possesed of a very slim athletic build, and I have trained in theatre and performance, I put off burlesque because I felt that I had the wrong body shape-i.e. NOT curvy and womanly! But I have realised that this is silly, and am going to pursue my goals! I'm looking for a female partner at the moment and i'm in the East Midlands, so if there is anyone out there, I'd be glad to hear from them. Good luck xxx