My ballet teacher always said, "practice doesn't make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect". But the truth of the matter is, no matter how perfect you practice, things can go terribly wrong onstage.

At Eye Candy Burlesque's last gig at Continental in Tulsa, Oklahoma, wrong is exactly what happened. I was doing a piece to a song by Ricki Lee Jones called "Danny's All Star Joint". I was a waitress, and came out with little cakes on a tray. I worked so hard on the piece, the choreography and stripping off went perfect with the music. Lots of swing dancing, popping bubble gum..I took people's orders on a restaurant ticket pad that I had prepared before the show with messages like, "A bowl of shimmy and two shakes", and then kissed the ticket and signed my name. I was so proud of the whole piece, and we had a packed house on Friday night...packed like sardines. People were sitting on the floor, standing on booths and chairs...it was wild. So I come out, things are going as planned, I get in about 32 counts of music...and then...it happens....the song starts skipping..it doesn't stop. It's way worse than when it happens in your car on the favorite part of your favorite song. I looked at the dj and gave him the cutt signal, and the WHOLE club started booing. OUCH!! It's a sound I won't soon forget. Being the seasoned performer that I am, I didn't panic (I just died on the inside). So I gave everyone the "shush"...and they did. An entire club of people in dead silence. What a powerful moment! So then, I just kept going..I took it slow, and I kept stripping. Everyone went crazy! They started clapping a beat for me and then I stripped to that! I think it impressed the crowd more than if nothing had gone wrong with my piece.

I also had a piece where a vital part of my costume wouldn't come off. I had an audience member unzip the problem, and now I use that sometimes in my pieces. (Thank you Dita Von Teese)

And for the love of all that sparkles, the worst of all......I was doing a piece with the Crispy Family Carnival...very dark, fetish type audience. Since it was a last minute gig, I didn't have time to prepare anything new, so I did a piece from a jazz production we recently collaborated on, Assorted Jellies and Jams. It was very avant-gaurd type jazz, with a lot of scatting. I wore a white kitty kat costume, using a lot of ballet movements and jumps to look like a kitty, batting at the things I took off, bathing myself, whatnot. It was a good piece, it just didn't really cater to that type of crowd. As if that wasn't bad enough..I had apparently given the dj the wrong cd. When I came out..what started playing?????? Fucking Fiona Apple re-doing ACROSS THE UNIVERSE by the Beattles!!! I danced my way through it and tried to think of the white cat doing Memories, but I don't think I've ever seen an audience with such confused faces. Absolutely NO conceptual sense onstage that night! Ce la vie...

And so pray tell, what might you do, or what have you done, when the Boobie gods are not in your favor while onstage? Please, dish!!

Well done for not letting it get to you! Sounds like you did a really good job

__________________
Snowflakes and Sparkles xox
December's Myspace

As a fan and promoter, I find that the best performers are the ones who can salvage an act that's gone totally wrong - to me, that is the epitome of professionalism.

__________________
Silk Stocking Striptease Show

Lol wow sounds like ur pretty weathered now!!! And all the better for it...
The last DJ Began with the wrong song, as my piece was character based and pretty much narrated by the CD my character (who really deserves his own name) styled it out by stalking around the stage and giving the DJ a fair bit of hassle on stage. It kept people laughing and as I lost the begining of the track I was thankful that he made a further mistake and let the track overrun, gave me time to get my kegs off! And the DJ took it all in his stride...

Aw, thanks for the words of encouragement.

CD malfunctions are the worst!! It's enough to make a girl buy an evil ipod!

I did get to do this piece again at the Blue Dome Diner in Tulsa...so I was vindicated.

Oh!! I've had a cd malfunction before! The music didn't skip, it cut out completely!! I was mortified on the inside, but since I practiced my routine so many times, I kept on dancing without the music and I did not break my smile.

I had 2 things like that before and both times the DJ played the song of another performer and mixed the list up. The first time it was my macho performance so I just kept standing at the bar making jokes with the lads standing there until the DJ sorted it out.

The second time it was my rocket performance and again song of an other act of the night, which didn't fit at all to the performance. I made jokes and played over it until it was sorted out.

In the end the audience was brilliant both times because I stayed cool.

__________________
www.myspace.com/freya_fox