... my own body disgusts me. Since having this damn operation my self confidence has plummeted. It wasn't particularly high in the first place, but the incisions on my tummy don't help. Having my stitches out has made me feel quite a bit better, but my scars seem twice as big as they should because of the leftover redness and tight tissue where they were. Add to this that my tummy is swollen so I look several months pregnant. And that the treatment I was on before the op was hormone based, so I put on a lot of weight in a very short time, and just appear to be gaining more. Now it's not the weight that bothers me, it's quite nice to be a bit curvier - and I have got what I wished for since being a flat-chested 15 year old and have gone up a few bra sizes (am now a C cup - SCORE!!). It's the stretch marks that I'm only discovering now that have obviously been there for a while. I mean, why now? Why am I only noticing now? Why do I have to spot them when I'm already worrying about scarring and bloating and all the rest? And I'm a worrier - I'm worried about completely irrational things, like my incisions popping open when I cough, or getting an infection, or about whether one will ever heal! Being stuck in the house all day is no good, and nor is the fact that I still can't be on my feet for more than about ten minutes without getting all dizzy. If I had my way I'd be doing important things like rehearsing routines, but I can't do much other than sit around and worry irrationally.

Help me out here people! I'm not looking for sympathy, I know I just need to get better and then there are things I can do about the appearance, but how do I stop this worrying? I'm going to be stuck doing very little activity for a little while yet, by the looks of things - one small operation but it hit me HARD - and I can't stand being stuck in my own head. I need a distraction!

AAARRGH I needed to rant!

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Why dont you buy a shed and set to work varnishing it and turning it into a lovely little home from home.

That'll take your mind off things.

And the extra exercise may help you lose a few pounds...



xx

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I'm not sure how you can stop worrying but I personally think there's nothing wrong with having scars. I think most scars can look pretty good. I've got a few on my face (admittedly small ones) and I love them, I think they give me character. But a lot of people think I'm weird when I mention this!

Trying to look at the positives might help, like you said you've gone up to a C-cup (I'm jealous). Almost everyone has stretch marks but I rarely notice them on other people. And even though my own stand out so much to me none of my friends have ever noticed my stretch marks. And the bloating will go away after you've recovered.

You could try and distract yourself too. Find a good book maybe?

Hope that helps a bit!

If I had a garden that could be a good idea. Maybe a model shed?

Did you kappen to see this by the way?
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article...8&in_page_id=2

I got given a book on the first day I got home. I read it slowly on purpose and still got through it in a matter of days. I go through books like nothing else and I'm not sure what there is left on my shelves that I haven't read recently. I suppose I could try the OH's calculus textbook? It's certainly give me something else to think about!

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That is a pretty impressive shed...

Could you get books from the library maybe? Well send someone to get some for you? I know what you mean about getting through books. I read really fast and if I was in your place I'd have read all my books already too. The calculus text book sounds like a tough back up!

i feel pretty simular to this sometimes after having my son.
esp when girls in my area who proform too havent had children and are skinny. but all i can say is bio oil and makeup on your scars, noon esees them in the lights and as far as weight goes, you can join me on a walk anytime hun. ive just walked more and got a excersize dvd and made myself do it
the thing i tell myself is, noone lese is noticing th things you dont like about your self, its only you that focuses on them...and even if angelina jolie was in the room, when im on the stage all the guys are looking at me, not her, you know.

p.s - my boobs grew too

Hmmm... I haven't been in this situation myself so can't offer advice. I just wanted to say I hope you start to feel better soon. I do know how it feels to be a worrier, and even though you know everything will be fine, you still feel like something will go wrong. I guess the best thing to do is to do anything and everything to keep your mind off it. Can you draw or paint, something like that? Maybe write stories instead of reading them? Invite friends over for pizza? Ok, I'm just coming up with anything I can think of now.

I really hope you feel better soon. Just remember that, although it's horrible now, it will get better. Everything works out in the end.

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Right then Miss Fleur, let's start to cheer you up by divulging the fact that Warren doesn't actually have a shed, go on, ask him. He might have creative ideas by the shed load, but a little, sorry big, Jabba the Hutt, he has not. No where is there for Mr. Speed to faff about in. Now Warren and his ficticious shed have been outed.
And as for your your scarring. You should e-mail, or PM, Scarlet Fever. I, hangs head in shame, didn't see the programme, but I do know that her abdominal scarring was a serious issue. So if Scarlet can overcome the problem, why can't you?
- Home
Now what positive strategy are you planning while you are laid up? You need to engage with others to stop the self pitying. Get yourself down to a school full of special needs kids, or offer to help out in a hospice. See what others have on their plate Fleur, and you will pretty soon be counting your blessings.
But if you really do need a little kick start hex..........

Being on your own is probably not too good, get some friends/family over to pamper you and to natter with - it'll take your mind off everything.

I think you're bound to be feeling a bit blue after going through surgery.

I'm sure the scars will fade, but you could try bio-oil (I think that's what it's called) or vitamin e oil - as I believe both help to heal scar tissue.

Are you sure the bloating isn't from where you were pumped up with air - when that has been dispelled, ahem, you may find it goes down.

If I feel all mizzucks, I tend to read a book that's not too heavy! Ironically, last night I read Womberang, a play by Sue Townsend, which takes place gynaecological clinics waiting room. Tonight, it's Bazaar & Rummage - life's been a bit full-on lately - and I'm taking a break from the ironing!

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Thats a big Pffft to you Broomy

And Fleur, thats one cool shed !!

x

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