Sorry this isn't related to Burlesque but I need some advice.

I've mentioned my boyfriend on here a few times. He isn't technically my boyfriend- we broke up in August- but we still talk every day, still love each other, etc. We pretty much still are a couple, so it's smetimes easier to say that rather than explain the situation.

Anyway, every night for the past 2 weeks, at least, he has gone out drinking with his best friend, with the exception of Sunday when he saw me. He has said today that he can take me back to Uni on Friday but he can't even stay for a pizza as he HAS to get back and go out.

I refused his offer and said I would wait until my Mum can take me back. He then asked if I had plans for Friday night. He is going to a local club, and said that I shouldn't go "in case I pull another girl and you get upset".

He often says, when I ask to see him, "I don't know what I'm doing yet". To me, this implies: I'm free but holding out in case something better comes up.

Yet he keeps saying he does love me and I make him happy, nice things like that.

I've called a couple of friends and they've both said I should forget him. He does make me happy a lot of the time.

Am I over reacting by getting upset, or do my friends have the right idea. I'm really confused and don't know what to do

Awww no! Man trouble, yuck! Sending you lots of cuddles and chocolate!

If you both still feel like that why aren't you together? What caused the break up?

Thanks for the cuddles and chocolate sweetie

He says that he's not ready to get back in a relationship. But then sometimes he will come out and say he wants to marry me :???:

I'd rather not go into too much detail about why we broke up but it was my fault.

Sorry I didn't mean to pry I was just wondering why you weren't together if you seem to be so keen on each other. It seems to me that he's really confused but he shouldn't say things like that to you and then another time say he's out on the pull and changing his mind because it suits him.

I completely understand how you feel having been in a similar situation myself and I know people giving you advice doesn't help at all, if anything it usually confuses you more! I just looked at the reasons me and my ex had split up and why we weren't together and I knew forgetting about him was the best thing I could do but our situation could be completely different to yours. xxxxxxxxxxx

I didn't think you were prying, it was a perfectly acceptable question to ask.

I think, looking back, we should have had a clean break but I was too scaerd of being alone. Now I love him more than I did then. which is annoyingly ironic lol

It's always worse because it's that 'forbidden fruit' type thing, wanting after the thing you can't have. If I were you I would surround myself with my family and friends and try have no contact with him for a few day to help clear your head. I hope it will all work out for you xxxxxx

He sounds incredibly shallow, and dispite the fact he makes you really happy some of the time the reality is does treat you badly, probably using you for his own selfish needs rather then being considerate of yours and it does sound like your intuition is right.
I have had ALOT of experience ass holes and bad guys...i even winded up taking someone to court after i realized he was a con artist (seriously) and he took all my money. I know what im talking about, and thank the gods i've finally learned my lesson and the SIGNS you need to watch out for dirt bags.
I'm sorry but this is going to be a little tough love darling.
Like myself in past relationships, some women have a tendency to believe what they want or hope for their relationship. You pay more attention to the little things he does that make you happy, rather then looking at thebig picture. You have to stay in reality! And his actions speak louder then words. Ask yourself how you really feel about him, deep down...do you really even like him all that much? or are you just kidding yourself? Does he really make you feel good? Do you really feel that he loves you and wants to be there for you? Women like us can be so stubborn because he are terrified of being alone...we convince ourself that we NEED this persons love. But you know what babe? You dont! If he is not such a great guy, you dont need that kind of love! And you will be ALRIGHT if you need to be without any love rather then shitty useless love for awhile. You are beautiful, talented, intelligent and INDEPENDENT, and youthful and desirable. You WILL find love, dont stress so much about it or you might not enjoy life.
I have a feeling this guy is definitely not worth your efforts. I'm sorry if this is hard to hear, but i've learned the hard way, and i am in an incredibly happy place right now, and at one time i thought this was impossible for me, but i have met a wonderful man who makes me truly happy and we have been together for a year. It is possible! I think for me everything started becoming more positive when i just focused on relaxing and enjoying life a little more rather then worrying about love.
You might even benefit from just not seeing this guy period, at least for awhile anyway.
Psst...and single life is so much more fun! Just make sure if you need a 'bad boy' fix you send him home in the morning
Remember, enjoy life and take care of your heart and self first. You wont find the right love until you are truly happy and healthy in all aspects first.
*big tight hugs*

~Muse

I've never tried that so I guess it's an idea. I do get worried that he will just say "fine, let's leave it at this" if I try having a break. But maybe that would be a good thing...

Aargh confusing! I have got a few busy days lined up though so that should help get my mind off things

My advice would be to try to keep your eyes wide open and to not look back to what was and to listen to what is really being said, rather than what you think is being said or what you want to hear...if you don't you could miss out on the chance of a relationship that will truely make you happy and not be full of contradictions and uncertainty.

Oh, and try diverting all his calls for two weeks...whilst eating lots of Ben & Jerry's ice-cream....when/if you decide to call him back, casually remark that Ben and/or Jerry was stealing your time...

A good laugh can help, especially when you think you can't see the wood for the trees.
I'm not being flippant, let Monk cheer you up for a short while, you'll love him.
YouTube - really really funny ventriloquist (Nina Conti and monk)

__________________
"Dance is your pulse, your heartbeat, your breathing. It's the rhythm of your life. It's the expression in time and movement, in happiness, joy, sadness and envy."