Me too! After I decided that I couldn't be with my ex I met my current other half who is the funniest, kindest person I have ever met. We've been together 3 years and I adore him. All hope is not lost hun! There is someone, somewhere who will treat you like the stunning princess you are and the way you deserve to be xxxxxxxxxx

Ah here,here well said that lovely lady.

I think we've all been in and out of crappy relationship and can relate to how awful it is. But, without knowing your exact situation we can only offer vague advice, or tell you how things have been for us.

My auntie (only 3 years older than me) got engaged at 21, but things didn't work out, but they managed to remain friends. As it is she is still very much in love with him 10 years down the line whereas he just wants to be friends, but doesn't like to see her with anyone else. Hence she's still single and pines for the family that two of her younger nieces now have. I'd hate to think of that being you, and for that not to happen at some point you're going to have to make some decisions.

It may well be that a clean break is what you need (and that is what worked for me), but it could be that the two of you will decide you have something that is worth getting back and really making a go of things

Big hugs in the meantime. Its horrible feeling so confused about something thats so important to you

Always happy to dish out all the useless advice you can take ;-)

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http://www.myspace.com/missmidnightblue

I should add that if it comes to it and you do decide to make the break we'll all be here to rally you along and support you. Even when its right it doesn't mean its easy.

I also met the love of my life very soon after making that final break from my crappy on/off relationship of 5 years. Bestest thing I ever did without a doubt (but I'm not you and don't claim to know whats best)

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http://www.myspace.com/missmidnightblue

Poor you - what a awkward situation. As Midnight Blue said - I can only tell you how things were for me.
Around this time last year I broke up with my long time boyfriend. He was and is a wonderful person who just wasn't right for me. It took us a while to disentangle ourselves from each others life. (After 5 1/2 years we have a lot of mutual friends and way too much of each others stuff). In a way losing him as a friend was a lot harder then losing him as a boyfriend. But I knew that it was too raw emotionally for us to keep seeing each other on a regular basis. Resentment and blame would have cropped up and my memories of him wouldn't be as nice as the ones I have. I still feel sad that we're not friends but know that he's moved on and I'm now seeing someone who is right for me.
I did regret the break up for a while but I think that deep down I knew it was for the best. Just after all I could think of was the fantastic times but I ended up with a list of things I hated about him to stop be from wearing the rose tinted glasses. Do you think you could be doing the same?
The other thing that springs into my head is could he be (sub consciously or otherwise) trying to punish you for the break up? Or at least make sure that you regret it. Or maybe he's scared of hurting you and doesn't realise that you're capable enough of surviving without him.

Feel free to ignore my advice, but this is what I'd do:

Write a list of anything that he did that you didn't like.
Remember your reasons for the break up.
Mourn for the relationship. but.... (and this is important) give yourself a time limit on wallowing. 24 hours to think, talk and remember but after that start taking steps to move on.
Try to be busy. (If he comes around in the afternoon then arrange to meet some friends in the evening. And let him know that you're heading out and have a deadline)
Show him that you can cope without him.
If you want to get back together with him remember that there is no rush. One friend of mine married her old boyfriend..... after they'd split up 10 years before and been married to other people. If it's meant to happen then it will.
Sorry for the length of the post. Started writing then couldn't stop.

Hope you find something to cheer you up soon xxxxxxx

I hate to sound negative here doll, but it sounds to me like he's using you. He's got the best of both worlds here, hasn't he? He gets you on tap whenever he wants some love and affection, but he's free to go out and pull other girls when you're not around. If he's warning you not to come out because he might pull, then he's probably hinting that he's done it before. And naturally you can't complain about that because you're not in a relationship any more, so why would he stop?

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, and I'm aware I don't know everything that's going on, but I think you have to be aware of this possibility. If it is the case, then he's not going to be the first to stop seeing you if he thinks he can get whatever he wants from you whenever he wants. But do you really want to be seen like that? Do you want to be that girl? Waiting around to see someone you care about, but only getting that affection when he's ready and on his terms? Think long and hard about the situation you're in and whether you really want to be there.

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It sounds like you guys need to be apart for a bit...

Guys are scared. They think they want to marry you, then they get all freaked out and behave in strange ways, because it doesnt do to be a young man and want to get married! (or some such male- psyche rubbish)

But he really isnt ready for this, and he seems to be taking you for a ride. he knows you will always be there if he cant find another girl, so he is having his cake and eating it...

if its meant to be, then you will come back together in the future.

I hope you dont mind me being so frank about it, but I hate seeing people being messed around. I have a wealth of experience of being messed around, and making the decision to have a clean break was the hardest but best decision ever. I hate to think where i'd be now if i hadnt, but certainly not with the lovely man i am with now, and having made all the great friends and had all the great experiences i have had since!!!

Thank you so much everyone.You've given me a lot to think about and some good advice. Some of the things you have said out a tear in my eye, but in a good way because of the support and understanding. Big thank yous to everyone!!!

And a lot of you have apologised for sounding harsh. Don't worry about it. I need honesty, and that is what you are doing.