Hi Fleur,
We are lucky in that Al's parents know we do 'theatre stuff' and are happy to babysit ...and my parents have always known I was into theatre and pin-up stuff and Rocky Horror so didn't seem at all surprised when burlesque took over our lives! My family are fantastically supportive- they all travel down to Birmingham from Glasgow every show and my dad helps pick up artistes from the airport, my mum made special fairy cakes for all the performers and my sister designs our programme. On top of that they all helped decorate the club!
Life is much easier when you have supportive peple around you and we are enormously appreciative of them.
I really glad one of our exclusive shows ( Missy and Leyla's Pillow fight for our Pyjama Party) helped show your dad what it was all about.We LOVE that act and clip and think it really sums up what, to us at least, burlesque is all about!I'm thrilled you chose it as an example : )
Violet
xxx

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Hi Fleur,
all I can say is that I wish you luck with it, and if it means enough to you, then it is worth pursuing.
I'm in a good position because my parents have known for quite some time that they have no mission of ever telling me what to do! I knew my mum would be good about it and i was right because she actually relishes an opportunity to come to the shows and she uses it as an excuse to dress up and indulge. My dad surprised me because I didn't know how he'd react but all he said was 'are you happy?' and I said 'yes' and he said 'well that's all that matters'. He still doesn't feel comfortable enough to come along, but you can't ask for more than that, and I think he has reacted very well.
Missy's parents are amazing - they are always there at the shows when they have the chance and her dad even makes props for her and sometimes both of us.
The Candy Box is like a fully-fledged family experience and I wish that other parents who are more reticent could see that in action because they might feel less nervous.
And I didn't want to stick my oar in and look self indulgent but now that Parma Violet has thanked you for referring to the Pllow Fight I want to thank you for it too. It is good clean fun and thank you to Parma Violet for her kind words.
My in-laws are very sweet but very, very old fashioned and taking Kittie's lead I told them that what I did was no more risque than a Carry On movie and they were OK with that. They are not stupid, they know I'm up to something! They will absorb what they want to and they don't need to know any more than that, and I spare them all the details because they don't need to know and I'm not ashamed. Different people have different values and I allow them the right to know as much as they want. I don't force my 'liberal' attitude on them and they treat me with the same respect.
I hope it works out for you,
Leyla. x

Thanks Violet and Leyla for your kind words of encouragement! I chose the Pillow Fight video for exactly the reasons you said Violet! It was cute and very funny - and even better showed that not all burly is striptease, which I think helped me out a bit ...

Hope to attend the Candy Box some day soon and possibly the wonderful performances in person xx

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hi fleur,
good for you for telling your parents, it's never as bad as you think... i was quite lucky (as some of the others said also) i have been taking every oppertunity possible to get on stage since i was a child so my parents thought it was par for the course when i got involved with burlesque... since my mum loves musicals i think she equates burlesque closer to the glamorous showgirls of the old movies than with modern lapdancers or whatever. I'm not sure what my dad thinks, i think he takes it fairly seriously though as he keeps asking if i am making any money out of it yet!
x

So Fleur, have you already been performing, without telling your parents, or will this be your first performance? You said you have performance pics so I assume you must have performed.

I don't think you need to define yourself as a 'stripper', as you referred to it in one of your posts. Burlesque is more about the narrative and the visual comedy, or if what you're doing is actually striptease rather than burlesque, then it's about what you don't show, hence the 'tease'.

I don't generally give a flying monkey's willy what my parents think about anything I do, in fact I barely tell them anything about my life cos it's my business. I was a bit worried though when we were all watching the Faking It Special, when mum couldn't even be in the room when we were watching it and went and hid upstairs, although I think her attitude has more to do with her own suppressed sexuality and her issues with her body. My brothers and sister just kept taking the piss and saying Immodesty was really ugly! I took exception to this I can tell you! I think it's just she's not conventionally beautiful, they can't get their heads around it! Dad seemed alright with it though, surprisingly, and even seemed quite interested, which shocked me as he wouldn't even let me have sex ed classes at school in case it corrupted me!

Anyway, notwithstanding most of my families negative reactions to their first glimpse of burlesque, I went ahead and put some acts together and started performing. I didn't go into details with my parents, I just told them I was busy with gigs, and when mum asked I said they were burlesque gigs. She's seen the Faking it thing so I assumed she knew what it involved. I still got the feeling she disapproved, but she knows she is not in any position to tell me what I should or should not do anymore. It was still a bit of a nagging worry though, as some small part of me still wants my parents to be proud of me. And I had no idea what my dad thought as we hardly ever speak cos he's deaf and can't use the phone.

However-when Kittie and James accepted me onto the agency books, I nervously texted my parents (I know, the coward's way out!), and was bowled over when dad sent me a text saying he and mum were very proud of me, and attached a photo of himself with a tear in his eye!! So it just goes to show, you can never predict peoples reactions.

At the end of the day though, it's absolutely nobody elses business what you choose to do with your life, as long as you're not hurting anyone. And being a strong and confident woman, which kinda goes with being a burlesque performer, is something that every parent should be very proud of.

xxx

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my parents are very religious and although shocked at first they're now very proud! my mum and nan have both seen me perform and enjoyed it and she's told all her friends what i do. the only down point as she trained as a dancer she gives me tips constantly!

Yep, I've already performed and they hadn't known, although apparently my mum had a sneaky suspicion, and I've been acting and dancing all my life so it doesn't suprise them too much!

I don't define myself as a stripper - if anything I call myself a 'stripteaser'! The reason I said stripper (I think anyway, it's hard to remember when I used it!) was because I was afraid that was all my parents would hear and assume I was on the seedier side of the tracks. Luckily though my dad already had a bit of understanding that it was more glamorous, and they've both said it looks classy. My dad was even asking what type of acts I did, so I told him I do better with character based pieces that have a storyline - probably because of my acting background! That was why I showed him Missy and Leyla's routine, because it was funny and had a story but no stripping, so he'd realise there was more to it than taking your clothes off!

Oh how sweet!

Awwww, you're so right here! And it's pretty much what they said to me too! I was a bit worried, because my man gave me the whole 'you're their little girl, so they might not like it, they'll still see you as a child' spiel, but when I told me dad he said 'I don't belive in that bulls**t, you're an adult and you can do what you want'! I was a little shocked I must say!

I've got to say again I'm a little overwhelmed by the support everyone on this forum shows each other, even when they've never met! It's fantastic - it'd be all too easy to slide into bitching and backbiting when anonymity's involved, but you guys are great!

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Terry Pratchett to Fleur - "Oh, are you the cleavage lady?"
Visit me - www.badflower.co.uk

I agree, this forum has helped me so much, and set me on my way in my burly career. There was a period of people being bitchy and confrontational all the time, when I stopped posting or even reading the posts, but it seems to have calmed down now, and the nasty people have gone away, hurrah!

Twinkle Starr xx

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Yeah i agree,if you can't be helpful or constructive with your posts then why post?Afterall are we not trying to help each other with our experiences!!

Well put Ant! Unfortunately not everyone always sees it that way, and uses it as a place to be egotistic instead!

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