I feel for you sweetie, hope your Pri-Bq event comes up with the goods (is it possible for an event to have a positive outcome/something good come out of it after the event has happened?) eventually.
I understand your frustration with the name business as well - having been going to classes for a while and meeting lots and lots of people who like me are very new to the scene, I know how painfully hard it is to come up with a name that sounds Burly, 'feels' right for you as a person/performer
and
is original - however, there has been lots of suitable and gentle 'that's a really great name, but I think there is already someone called XYZ, etc' and I will continue to do this.
I knew there would be a million and one cherry's, but really loved the name, but I'm very protective of my Cherry Noir-ness

. Unfortunately not everyone googles/checks forums before they 'become' someone. There is a register of sorts that Ruby Rose has set up
http://burlesquewomensinstitute.myfr...g/about88.html
at least it's oe way of making things a little more formal - other than that I think it's just a case of being on the ball and kindly pointing out when someone has take on a name that is already in use.