Thread: are your partners supportive with what you do?

I can't say anymore that what has already been said but sending you hugs.
Dr Silverlight is also to blame for giving me that extra push. He's very supportive and normally ends up dragging me to the shows and talking to everyone. I'm always getting told I don't mingle enough. He's supportive unless he doesn't like the music of the acts. He's also managed to get up on stage before I have and was considering performing but he got told that was my side. He's still looking at doing some sort of act but not involving undressing.
He's puts his opinion regularly and can disagree but we normally just discuss it and I'll try his way and them back to mine. think you just need to tell him straight that you appreciate his input and support but it's not making you feel happy.
Wishing you the best of luck and hope that you sort it sooner rather than later
{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

Abs

Hi honey, really looking forward to meeting you this weekend, this stuff is so hard with the OHs. My boyfriend was a bit the same about the money thing I'm new to this as well, but I explained how it is to him and that you have to put the effort in and that rather than being interested in the money I just love performing . Think he sees it as just my hobby that i like to do and money doesnt really come into it, ofcourse getting paid is a definite advantage.

If performing is something you love to do then he needs to try and understand this, also that it is your thing and your routines come from you. Would he ever try and stop you from doing something in a routine?

I think you need to talk to him and explain it isn't something you are doing for the money or to make a living, but something you are in for the love of the performance. It is never a good idea for anyone to get into burlesque for the money anyway! Does he also understand that even if you don't get paid for the acts you do, they are still important as they are helping you gain experience and other people may see you perform and keep you in mind for future shows?

It's awful that he is blackmailing you and saying what you can and cannot do, it sounds awfully controlling and you deserve to be your own person and make your own choices. I think you should go ahead and do whatever shows you want.

I'm lucky in that my boyfriend met me after I started performing , in fact it was right after I did a show so he got to know from the very moment we met! He loves to be at my performances and is very encouraging, he tries to suggest acts and possible music to me and even talks to bands he knows about me, imagining I am going to be in their videos or something! He told Cauldron he was going to send them a video of me doing a routine to one of their songs... I was too embarrassed though.

I think he maybe wants to do a bit of performing himself and is living all his ideas through me. He is a frontman and likes to sing and doesn't mind the limelight. He hadn't been to a burlesque show until he met me and now he is a huge fan, despite his image as a long haired 80s style metaller he loves everything about it. He even found out that some of his friends were into the scene too. So you see OP, there are LOADS of supportive men who love burlesque out there, if it all goes tits up and he gets unbearably controlling then I bet someone else would love to be in his place!

hang in there hun...it sounds really difficult for you at the minute...you deserve wholehearted support from your other half...even if its something they dont agree with the fact is that it is a pathway you have chosen for yourself and it makes you happy...that ought to be enough to get him to be supportive.
but sadly this isnt always the case...as has been said before try talking to him and explaining howyou feel both about burlesque and him too...they are both reallybig parts of your life and there has to be a way to work round both. let him know what you need from him and find out exactly what it is he need/wants from you...if its a path he will walk with you then great but if not then at least he might become a bit more understanding amd hopefully more supportive (in the way that you need him to be)...fingers crossed hun...let us know how you are doing. xxxx

I hpe thing work for you Penny. I am also having issues similar with Mama De Ville (note to self get log in changed lol) She's not got an issue with burlesque , just with her daughter doing burlesque . In the end we've now come to an unmderstanding, i dont mention it, she doesnt whine.

I don't think that "mr Rose" is too gone on the idea... but I'm hoping to get him more into it - I'm taking him to Enchanted Burlesque in April, to see what he thinks of everything.

I think he likes the idea of it, but maybe just not me personally taking my clothes off on stage - he wouldn't stop me or anything though. I'll bring him around to it!

xx

my hubby went to his first night with a totally open mind and he loved it....hes enjoyed every one we've been to since as well...fortunately for me he is totally supportive and is happy to back me whatever i choose to do if it makes me happy...(im sooooooo lucky to have him, and after 11 years as a single mum i didnt think id ever be so damned lucky believe me!!!!!) he is dead proud of me and is chuffed to bits that i am intend to debut soon.....

I'm really lucky to have the most supportive boyfriend ever. He backs me 100% and always tells me he's proud of me. He gives me help and advice with my routines and costumes, comes to shows with me, edits all my music - he's even worked on the door at the night where i'm resident and he's going to be maid (lol) at the next one we're doing! I really couldn't ask for more support!
I can say the same for his family! His sister has just co-founded our pastie-making business with me and both his sisters come to watch me at shows and are the loudest ones cheering for me (except for my mum who has actually cried with pride at my shows! lol) and my boyfriend's parents are really supportive too.

People often ask Mr Wildflower if he gets jealous of other men watching me take my clothes off and he always says he's never jealous - he's the one who gets to take me home at the end of the night!

Where do i start with this whole discussion....
When i very first started out in Burlesque i was engaged- Im not any more!

However it was the best thing to happen to me as I met my wonderful partner Mr FlamingAces and he is my rock. When Ive felt like giving up he is the one who has always pushed me to be bigger and better. He critiques me ( and as hard as it is for stubborn old me to admit he he usually has a good point- but shhhh!) and comes to almost every show, he always has ideas and new concepts for me to try and I know i wouldn't be where i am now without him. I have to add he woke up at 2am this morning and told me that he had thought of the perfect music for a routine i am working on!!!

His family are so supportive too, his mum always asks me about the shows and tells me how proud she is - she's an absolute diamond.

In short i couldn't ask for a better partner in crime.

I also cant really add any more advice, but agree with everyone else here.

Mr LaFemme is pretty fantastic, he actually helps me pick music and helps with ideas for routines

My parents are cool with in, in fact my InLaws are coming to see me for the first time this weekend. That should be interesting!