I think we've all been in and out of crappy relationship and can relate to how awful it is. But, without knowing your exact situation we can only offer vague advice, or tell you how things have been for us.
My auntie (only 3 years older than me) got engaged at 21, but things didn't work out, but they managed to remain friends. As it is she is still very much in love with him 10 years down the line whereas he just wants to be friends, but doesn't like to see her with anyone else. Hence she's still single and pines for the family that two of her younger nieces now have. I'd hate to think of that being you, and for that not to happen at some point you're going to have to make some decisions.
It may well be that a clean break is what you need (and that is what worked for me), but it could be that the two of you will decide you have something that is worth getting back and really making a go of things
Big hugs in the meantime. Its horrible feeling so confused about something thats so important to you
Always happy to dish out all the useless advice you can take ;-)
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