This is a really interesting thread and one that I can really relate to. Over a year ago now a performer started a malicious and totally untrue rumour about me and used it to try and get promoters not to book me. This was someone who at one point I had dealt with and even considered a friend (until I found out what they had done). Two unrelated individuals stood up as ‘Spartacus’ for me and warned me what this other performer was doing, despite the fact that she had more clout and prestige than the three of us and if she had found that they had told, would have made life difficult for them. I was so grateful to those two people for coming to me and filling me in on what was going on so that I could do some damage control and try (discreetly) to let people know that she had been lying. I feel like they nailed their colours to the mast for me by coming and warning me and they are both people who had nothing to gain from telling me and possibly something to lose if it came to light that they had said something.

This then led me to another dilemma. Did I keep quiet or did I out this person publicly as a manipulator and a liar? If I did, I would have to face their anger at being found out and the risk that they would stick to their lie and people would believe them rather than me or that they would up their campaign to try and ruin my reputation. At the time this person was a much bigger fish than me (they probably still are) and I wasn’t just small-fry, I was practically no-fry. I was convinved that nobody except those who knew me or the other person well would believe me. In the end I decided to let it blow over and not to out the person. It was a cowardly decision but as I felt that outing her would have only benefited me, only I would lose out if I didn’t.

Unfortunately, I was wrong. This person did lose interest in me after a while, which was good for me, but they began the exact same campaign of lies and telling promoters not to book against three other performers that I know of. Lately, every time her name comes someone knows someone she did something similar to and it seems that for a lot of people, when she says something about a fellow performer it is now more often than not taken with a pinch of salt.

So should I have said something? I’m still not sure whether it was the right decision. It was definitely the right thing for me from a selfish point of view but if I had outed her when she lied about me perhaps when she told similar lies about the next person people would have questioned it more. It’s so hard to speak out, especially when you have a vested interest (such as protecting your own name) and even harder still when the person you are speaking out against is in a position of power and you are not.

From the other side of the coin though, it is hard sometimes as an outsider to know where the truth lies and who is being honest and speaking up and who is just causing trouble. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but from the way people are when you meet them and when they post online you can sometimes get a feel for who is being honest and who isn’t. Sometimes.

Great thread!